A very good friend and coworker of mine just had baby number two, another had baby #4 last year, and another had baby #1 about 13 months ago. Although I have many dear and close friends, my coworker friends become so much like family with the incredible amount of daytime hours we spend together. I had the privilege of having front row seats to their pregnancy, and play-by-play recall of their childbirth, and the first year of their children’s infancy. I am proud to play surrogate auntie and so grateful they have let me into their lives.
I am also so grateful to hear every complaint. I have mentioned in previous posts, but I never fault a pregnant woman for complaining. I know that some women who have trouble conceiving might be the “You should never complain about what the rest of us would give anything to have” kind of attitude. I just know that if I was the one going through it, I wouldn’t want anyone to take away my right to complain. I will even do one better, I welcome it. There is nothing in the world to make you feel more secure about never going through pregnancy and childbirth like hearing what it’s really like for most women, even under the best of circumstances.
With the fear of embarrassing my dear friends, I won’t go into too much detail. The coworker that had baby #1 had such a horrible childbirth experience, and without family close by, she did not recover enough to care for her baby for several weeks after having him. Another woman had complications and early contractions so she was on strict bed rest for the last 2 months of her pregnancy. The most uncomplicated of the three had her baby just a few weeks ago. She had relatively normal symptoms, difficulties, and childbirth but even then I had to witness how difficult it is to care for a 3 year old while dealing with these issues. In addition to the three women I mentioned, the kindergarten teacher from last year was also pregnant for most of the school year. She had the worst and longest lasting case of morning sickness I’ve ever seen!
Why is all of this important? Put yourself in my shoes: think about if you had been dreaming your whole life of the day you see the plus on the stick and know you have a living human being growing inside you. You imagine telling your significant other with a beautiful joy that only you can share. You daydream of the months you spend growing them inside of you, feeling them move and kick. You picture an exciting rush to the hospital, painful, but worth-it delivery. The doctor resting your perfect bundle of joy in your arms and you smiling up at your supportive and wonderful husband as you three bask in the wonder of it all. *sigh* . . .Then imagine that whole scenario is ripped from your field of vision without warning or control. Isn’t it nice to find out that that scenerio doesn’t exist anyway? Not quite that way. Here’s how I imagine it COULD be if I compile a few peices of knowledge I’ve picked up:
You take a pregnancy test after being days late of your menstrual cycle and feeling extra bloated and crampy. You are joyous to find out your pregnant, and you celebrate in just in time to become nauseous and gassy. You want to eat everything, but can’t stomach anything for at least 3 months. You are excited again when you feel the baby move for the first time, but celebrate only long enough until the baby starts to kick you in uncomfortable places. Now, you have to pee a lot (sometimes even when you’re not prepared to do so), you feel fat, you are uncomfortable in every way, you are too big to sleep and breath, you might have hemorrhoids (I hear that can happen), you’re hot and sweaty, and you kind of hate your husband. Oh, and you cry. Then, either the real contractions start naturally, or you carry the baby until you’re way too uncomfortable to stand it and get induced.Childbirth begins. Worst pain imaginable in your muscles and nerves, tearing, ripping, ridiculously enlarged needles going into your spine, exhaustion, and long term damage to your body that at BEST your bladder will never work the same again. Then, the after-birth recovery starts. Intense bleeding, hormone changes, and worse if the birth was difficult or c-section. All of this while trying to care for an infant and running on little sleep. Also, breastfeeding has maximum benefits to the baby, but the baby won’t latch. Even if they do, it’s extremely uncomfortable on your nipples and you keep getting infections in your breasts. Oh, and you kind of hate your husband.
Boo! Feel much better about not having scenerio #1, am I right?
I am going to borrow this link from a friend who posted it on facebook, but I’m not going to put it in my links section just because it only portains to this post specifically:
To those who are about to go through any of this, I always say: Happy Pushing!
Journal of a Childless Heir 